And I'd like to leave my 1972 Gran Torino to...If you're a man who's getting up there in age, you're probably reading this by accident. But while we have you, let's take a few pages from ODH (Old Dirty Harry) on how to effectively be a grumpy old man badass. Quite honestly, that's the only kind of old man I want to be.
...my friend... Thao Vang Lor. On the condition that you don't chop-top the roof like one of those beaners, don't paint any idiotic flames on it like some white trash hillbilly, and don't put a big, gay spoiler on the rear end like you see on all the other zipperheads' cars. It just looks like hell. If you can refrain from doing any of that... it's yours.
The Giants win the Super Bowl, MIA gives us the finger, and Clint Eastwood does his best Walt Kowalski impression as some sort of weirdo rallying cry for America. We were all waiting for an Obama endorsement at the end that never came. After Gisele accused Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez (Deion Branch gets a pass because the ball was tipped) of not doing their jobs, there was Clint Eastwood left in the wake of this Patriots disaster championing another downtrodden blue-collar hero, the Detroit auto industry.
Clint, you're the Bruce Springsteen of Hollywood. Nobody really likes westerns anymore, nor do they really like rock and roll. But you can do whatever you want and you know it. It does make it that much harder to make fun because of your history as a complete and utter badass, most recently in Gran Torino.
It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great one-liners. Far be it from me to tell you what to do, so chose for yourself.
Unless you're real chummy with someone you've known long enough where racial slurs are laughed off, be careful with any of these.
Well, I gotta go. Good day, pussycake.
...Oh hey, SNL, nice one.
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