Mrs. Doubtfire

It's often hard to stomach the Robin Williams shtick. Body fur aside, his comedy is too sweaty and energetic. Everyone prefers him playing the lowly therapist telling Matt Damon to quit being an asshole. It might even be easier to watch him geek out about photography while playing with himself to pictures of other people's families. He's great as a villain, great as a soulfully reachable teacher (The Birdcage loosely fits into this category), horrible as a comedic character actor. No, Good Morning, Vietnam was not good. If you think it was then get the HELL out of this blog! Throw a fat granny suit on him and what happens? Not the Caucasian prequel to Big Mama's House. Gold happens. With a little help from Harvey Fierstein, Robert Prosky, and Brosnan,  Pierce Brosnan.




Every single day, Robin Williams. You can paraphrase this line to no end while you waste away in an office behind a desk staring longingly through a computer screen at a life you were never meant to live. That's ok. Sentiments like that are precisely why they make movies...and alcohol, you scallywag.

Could You Make Me a Woman?
Mrs. Doubtfire — MOVIECLIPS.com
The genesis of the one they call Doubtfire. One of the rare moments where the whole Robin Williams "I do voices" thing doesn't make you want to kill yourself. There might be occasions where you and your buddies are doing voices with each other. Invariably, an impression for some kind of spanish accent comes in - more often then not, it's someone doing Tony Montana. But if this is not a strict confine, pretend to be a latin lady lover talking about your hot Cuban beef injection: "Every night is like the Bay of Pigs".

If you're ever yearning for some Jerky Boys kind of fun, take your chances with this one.

Paramount to a successful reference is the wail. Do yourself a favor, practice once when you're alone. There's nothing worse then trying to play this ace in the hole only to have the screlp (scream + yelp) putter out like dehydrated piss. The rest of the impression is channeling your best Deliverance accent.

The pool scene breaks down into two parts. The first part, where we get lots of under the breath utterances and first rate playful jabs. And then the second part: The RunBy Fruiting. Here's part 1:

Say you're a little overweight and someone's pestering you to get in the pool. Come back with, "I think they've outlawed whaling". More than anything, this is a lesson in how to be around your ex's significantly better significant other. "Touch me again, I'll drown you, you bastard." And for the love of God, if you're ever in drag, hit on another woman. Ok, now here's the whole movie. The fruiting.

A Run-By Fruiting
Mrs. Doubtfire — MOVIECLIPS.com
So much to note here. I'll give you a second to stop laughing....back with us? Ok, pranksters. Here's a perfect example of how to celebrate a successful prank: cower under a tree laughingly marveling at your recent feat of foolishness. Next, cover your tracks when you're caught with a big ol' english: "Oh sir, I saw it!" If you're ballsy enough, you can even proceed with "some angry member of the kitchen staff, did you not tip them?" Look, there is no real application for this because it is a once in a lifetime moment. But just in case I'm wrong and you manage to bean a dude in the back of the head with a piece of fruit here are the rest of the lines for you recollection:

Oh, the terrorist! They ran that way, it was a runby fruiting! I'll get them sir, don't worry. Oh. Good waste of juice...looser, haha...what are you lookin' at?

Mrs. Doubtfire - Restaurant Scotch Scene by goldrausch
Have you ever tasted Scotch? It tastes terrible! But people drink and if you're ever being pressured into drinking more than you know is wise, call him a "Bully!" And Robin Williams is absolutely right, kids are little people so please, don't patronize them. I mean, for God's sake, it's the 90's.

Sadly, there doesn't seem to be one part in this movie online: The Pierce Brosnan/Mrs. Doubtfire Mercedes Hood Ornament aftermath. In that scene, Brosnan says, "Your accent is a little muddled," to which Williams responds, "So is your tan". Here's what lead up to it though.

Analogies for sex - any of these work.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horn, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?
Stu: Mrs. Doubtfire, please

(How to reveal a woman has a huge fake vibrating cock to her lover)

Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? Sorry. Well I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth. 

One final anecdote for the back of your mind. If there's ever trouble, of any kind, and you're in a position to help. Please ease some tension with this applied reference: