Predator

Predator! You sonofa BITCH...The lineup in this movie is the perfect mix of brains and brawn for a John McTiernan 100 page script that was most likely cut down to 20 pages of actual dialogue. When Arnie isn't struggling through multiple sentences as the C/O, he's rattling off catch phrases and kicking far more ass than that new no-women Dr. Pepper commercial. Apollo Creed is actually Carl Weathers since this is before Rocky and he's more raw, less ego-maniacal. What better way to measure masculinity than this? So complex, so diabolically clever and yet so simple: arm wrestle while shaking hands in that pseudo black guy handshake grip. If you're ever in a one on one strength competition and you find yourself winning here's your catchphrase: What's the matter, (name of loser)? The (name of the place that loser works) got you pushing too many pencils?


Or if you need more help on how to actively employ Predator references into your daily lives, just ask Mac and Dennis of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Unfortunately for this potential Oceans 11 type franchise, McTiernan decided to kill off everyone but Dutch. First, he offs the studio mercenary funnyman with the glasses. Then, The Body. A scramble in the woods and the black guys buy it (Mac and Dillon). Billy, like a true Native American, decides to lose his mind and give up. Poncho finally quits holding up the group, giving the random Mexican chick a chance to scamper. So as a tribute to a character driven franchise instead of this Alien vs. Predator vs. Taint-sweat nonsense, here's a great scene with the gang as we wish they could always be: together as beefcakes.



I can't recommend chewing tobacco or any other tobacco related products. But if you ever find yourself as the lone chewer/dipper/smoker in a group of friends, use this line for line if you can: "Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamned sexual Tyrannosaurus. Just like me." Seriously though, don't start down tobacco road just because Jessie The Body said something about dinosaur sex once.

Mac might have the best counter-catch phrases in the movie. If you're feeling less than buff and like more of an undertaker, try this approach to any steal mission gone wrong due to one noisy group member.

The flip side to every decent line, accidental or not, is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing his best human being impersonation.



No real usage suggestions for the clip above, only to show it as an example of how NOT to say "meat-grinder".

But finally, if you have the means and are near a helicopter, for your own satisfaction and the greater Arnie fan population, scream at whomever you're with to GET TO THE CHOPPA!