The Weatherman

The Weatherman does more to show us the depressing reality that mostly resembles our shit lives than any recent tabloid pictures of Nicolas Cage ever could. There's a cold vacancy, a sort of blindness to The Weatherman's naivete that warrants nothing less than a broken family and fast food degradation. Nic Cage's David has a stream of consciousness that is more real than most of us Americans want to let on. Certainly we've all had our own tartar sauce moment at a crucial point in our lives and it makes us remember one thing: your mind is not your friend.

Sure, we might try to censor ourselves in front of our kids (even though they turn out to be fat and disgusting anyway), but we can't help but ponder a world where we unzip and pull out not one, but two dicks. Ultimately, this is where we are with racism: thinking sexual stereotypes about black guys. From huge cocks to liking munching box, the stereotypes are largely positive. So try working "Silly Fuck" into your next conversation. It really packs a punch.

Dave: Here's something that, if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a glove. Because if you do that, that's what he will think. Unless you're a nobleman or something in the 19th century. Which I'm not. 

Blurting out things is a real American pastime. Especially if they're sexual in nature, please try to be as crude if you're trapped in any sort of couples counseling, trust building waste of time. Just mock the shit out of it and then betray your partner with whom your supposed to be building trust...Sup.

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The Weather Man - Reading Secret
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Then, after a while, you begin to fight with your girlfriend/wife/whatever. It's inevitable in this shit life. We're not supposed to be with one person the whole time. I mean, we are and we aren't. It's set up so that we should. But we're wired to get sick of things. At a certain point, the chick just doesn't want to. So if you get to the point of making confessions, try this one on for size:

Throughout Marriage BJs Lacked Enthusiasm

Thankfully, refreshingly, Michael Caine's fatherly wisdom endures. It's real. This is a shit life. But there's always lookin' after. Tell your kids about this movie if they're ever in a funk. Praise their American accomplishments, however foolish they may be.