Hot Rod

"Is that Sully?! Babe, I gotta go say whatup to Sully."

Attention all douche bags, arrogant lax bros, fratty moneybags out there: Will Arnett is making fun of you. It's a double edge sword, though. He's doing such a good job that it's almost enviable to be this kind of a person. More regrettable than finding yourself to be guilty of douche-cockery, is glancing at Will Arnett's IMDB page and seeing he is known for Ratatouille and Despicable Me...COME ON! For our purposes, we'll take his best movie role to this point, which comes in the Lonely Island weird-out contest Hot Rod.

Ok, Andy Samberg is the main actor in this movie. He and it (the movie) is about what you'd expect after seeing  SNL digital shorts for the last few years. Great soundtrack and ridiculous sketch situations. Which one of us didn't have Jizz In My Pants as a ringtone for at least a day? Before we get back to GOB, we should acknowledge Samberg as it is technically his movie.

Hard to put into words what exactly a face looks like after crapping, but Samberg nails it. So, if someone who brags about showing you something awesome does that awesome thing and makes you look foolish, try to imitate the face and say, "THAT didn't work..." Just another one of those precious movie moments that makes your mouth crap itself with laughter...

That was weirder than a line from the Human Giant Sex Machine.

Having said that, if you can work ANY of these lines into your life, you're liable to get a high five from someone awesome -

• (on driving a Prius) It's a good car. You outta get one if you want your car to suck balls. 
• The backseat's big enough you can perform an abortion in it. 
• All this talk about abortion is making me super wet
• (on arousal) I got a pant full of bone right now. 
• (on ejaculation) Can't believe my dick just barfed that much. 
• (on twins) Double trouble? Hang on let me just ask my boner...Oh he's fine with it. 
• (on weird porn) If you do the heat wrap and the burn cream chaser, it makes you cum at the same time as the dude. 
• (on Sex Machines) It comes with this really romantic fist attachment
• (on someone thinking it's going to hurt) That means it's working. 

If you're new to Will Arnett, he's a bit of a one-trick pony with several variations on that trick (or illusion). Deep, scratchy voice saying sinister/douchey things. Here's his schtick in Hot Rod. 

If you can manage to get away with screaming away from a crowd at someone who preferably can't hear you, go for this one - "[name of person], you chode! I owe you a shot to the nuts."

Here's another lesson in how to be an asshole - treat you're girlfriend like an object without thinking twice.

And have a hilarious name for condoms...like "Dong Bags".

If you need more Will Arnett and ran out of Arrested Development episodes, try him in 30 Rock or The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret.